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I went to the dentist today to get my 6 months prophylaxis
(they can charge more for that than just calling it 'check up
and cleaning', you know). The conversation began with the
Dental Tech and the usual, "Had any problems with your teeth
since you were here last?"
"Well, not until this morning. I was awakened early by severe
pain in the last four lower teeth on the right... sorta like I
had really been clenching my teeth, but only on the right
side...lower. Then I discovered I could hardly chew my cereal
(not oatmeal!) for breakfast. Now it hurts right down here
under my jaw."
"hmmmm" she hmmmmmed, while poking around in all the cracks
and crevices. "Everything looks fine, but let me just see if I need to x-ray."
She disappeared briefly, then reappeared and said, "Yes".
Latched onto one of those little (ha!) x-ray hard plates that
lacerate the heck out of your gums and tongue muscles, and
said, "just clamp your teeth on this." Shoot, I couldn't even
close my mouth, much less "clamp"! Soooo, after several
futile tries, she told me to go ahead and adjust it myself. I
did, and the resulting expense....er..x-ray confirmed that everything was just fine.
She thereupon proceeded to prod and poke with that nasty
little pick into every teeny little crack between my teeth and my gums, and
just because I wasn't screaming and yelling she obviously
thought she wasn't doing her job properly, because she kept
asking me if THAT hurt as she poked harder. Well, she finally
got around to cleaning my pearly whites and then the Dentist,
who apparently figured there wasn't anything left that might
slime up his hands, appeared and did his own thing with the
little pokey device while calling off numbers to the Tech. I
think each number had something to do with how deep he managed
to jab the pick into my gum. He didn't lose it in there,
though, so finally my teeth were declared clean and healthy
for another 6 months. However, he suggested that I must be
very tense if I were clenching them so hard in my sleep that I
bruised the nerves/muscles, so he recommended that I take
Ibuprophen, eat soft food, and try to relax for a few days and
see if the bruised teeth (anyone else never hear of this?)
would improve. Relax? Relax! Hey, I'm always relaxed...well
maybe not as much as I used to be...in fact lately...ohmygosh,
can trying to keep up with the ever increasing email create this
effect? Is excessive laughter causing my stress?
There will be more on this important issue...after the
Government sends me the money to research a study on "The
Humorously Stressful Aspects of Laughing And Coexisting In
Cyber Space With 65 Humor Columnists (see: http://www.thenetwits.com ) All Trying To Create Bigger And Better Laughs Simultaneously". Then I'll write a very expensive
book on the subject...just to help defray the cost of my dental care, of course.
Whew, I'm exhausted and really stressed out...catch y'all
later after I clench my clean teeth and take a quick
nap...maybe I'd better get some earplugs first...I might be
screeching them too. (likely result of grinding squeaky clean teeth)
zzzzzzSCREEEEE...
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Copyright© BZ Leonard 1999-2000 All rights reserved
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